You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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