oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
