This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
