i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's always time for handjobs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
