no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
