I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i dont even know how to be here
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
