Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
do herpes really smell.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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