i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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