I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
