Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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