i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
