Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
