we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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