i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
