you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
