i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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