so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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