i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
