Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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