i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
