you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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