there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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