oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
