He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
