Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
