# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
