Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
