She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
