are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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