Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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