Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my being single is dangerous.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
