Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
