Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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