Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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