And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
