morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
