i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize