Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
