you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
