At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we're so committed to being not committed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
