evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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