Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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