I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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