I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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