"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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