If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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