is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
