I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
