She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
