She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
