omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
