I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
