If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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