Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
