worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
