May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
two words: eviction party
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
