do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
