i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
