we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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